In Japanese, expressing giving and receiving is more nuanced than in English. The three key verbs used for these actions are あげる (ageru), もらう (morau), and くれる (kureru). Understanding the perspectives behind these verbs is crucial for using them naturally in conversations.

Understanding the Perspective in Japanese Giving and Receiving

In Japanese, the choice of あげる, くれる, or もらう is all about perspective. Unlike English, where "give" and "receive" are straightforward, in Japanese, these verbs emphasize the direction of the action and the relationship between the giver and receiver.

• あげる (ageru) → Focuses on the giver's action of giving.
• くれる (kureru) → Focuses on the receiver (me or someone close to me).
• もらう (morau) → Focuses on the receiver’s action of receiving.

  あげる (Ageru) – To Give (From Self to Others)

あげる is used when the giver is the speaker (or someone the speaker identifies with) and the recipient is someone else.

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Key Features

✅ The giver is the subject of the sentence.
✅ The action moves away from the speaker.
✅ Cannot be used for receiving something from a superior (use 差し上げる instead).

Sentence Structure

[Giver] は [Receiver] に [Object] を あげる。

Examples

???? 私は彼に時計をあげました。
 (Watashi wa kare ni tokei o agemashita.) → I gave him a watch.

???? おばあちゃんは私たちにお菓子をあげた。
 (Obaachan wa watashitachi ni okashi o ageta.) → My grandma gave us sweets.

???? Usage Tip:

• When talking about animals or objects receiving something, あげる can be used.
• 犬にえさをあげました。 → I gave food to the dog.

 くれる (Kureru) – To Give (to Me or Someone Close to Me)

くれる is used when someone else gives something to me or someone close to me (e.g., family, friends).

Key Features

✅ The giver is the subject, but the focus is on the receiver (me or us).
✅ The action moves toward the speaker.
✅ Used when the speaker receives something directly or indirectly.

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Sentence Structure

[Giver] は [Receiver] に [Object] を くれる。

Examples

???? 彼女は私に手紙をくれました。
 (Kanojo wa watashi ni tegami o kuremashita.) → She gave me a letter.

???? 先生が私たちにアドバイスをくれました。
 (Sensei ga watashitachi ni adobaisu o kuremashita.) → The teacher gave us advice.

???? Usage Tip:

• The receiver is always the speaker (or their close group).
• If the giver is of higher status, use くださる (kudasaru) instead.

 もらう (Morau) – To Receive

もらう is used when the receiver is the subject of the sentence and the giver is marked with に.

Key Features

✅ Focuses on who is receiving something.
✅ The receiver is the subject of the sentence.
✅ Can be used when receiving from anyone (including superiors with いただく).

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Sentence Structure

[Receiver] は [Giver] に [Object] を もらう。

Examples

???? 私は彼から本をもらいました。
 (Watashi wa kare kara hon o moraimashita.) → I received a book from him.

???? 弟は先生に賞をもらった。
 (Otouto wa sensei ni shou o moratta.) → My younger brother received an award from the teacher.

???? Usage Tip:

• から (kara) can replace に when emphasizing the giver.
• When receiving from a superior, use いただく (itadaku) instead of もらう.

 Comparing あげる, くれる, and もらう

 Polite Forms: When to Use Humble and Honorific Verbs

Japanese has honorific (respectful) and humble (humbling oneself) forms of these verbs.

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Example Sentences

???? 先生に花を差し上げました。
 (Sensei ni hana o sashiagemashita.) → I gave flowers to my teacher.

???? 先生が私にアドバイスをくださいました。
 (Sensei ga watashi ni adobaisu o kudasaimashita.) → My teacher gave me advice.

???? 先生に本をいただきました。
 (Sensei ni hon o itadakimashita.) → I received a book from my teacher.

???? Usage Tip:

• Use くださる and いただく when speaking about people of higher status.
• 差し上げる sounds extremely formal and is mostly used in business or polite situations.

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 More Advanced Uses of These Verbs

Giving and Receiving Actions

You can use 〜てあげる, 〜てくれる, and 〜てもらう to talk about doing things for others.

〜てあげる (Doing Something for Someone)

???? 私は友達に宿題を手伝ってあげました。
 (Watashi wa tomodachi ni shukudai o tetsudatte agemashita.) → I helped my friend with homework.

〜てくれる (Someone Does Something for Me)

???? 友達が宿題を手伝ってくれました。
 (Tomodachi ga shukudai o tetsudatte kuremashita.) → My friend helped me with homework.

〜てもらう (Receiving an Action from Someone)

???? 私は友達に宿題を手伝ってもらいました。
 (Watashi wa tomodachi ni shukudai o tetsudatte moraimashita.) → I got my friend to help me with my homework.

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Common Mistakes to Avoid

 Using あげる when receiving something
 友達にプレゼントをあげた。 → I gave a present to my friend.
 友達にプレゼントをあげた (meaning: My friend gave me a present) → Use くれる instead.

 Using もらう with the wrong subject
 私は母にお金をもらった。 → I received money from my mom.
 母は私にお金をもらった。 → This means "My mom received money from me," which is incorrect.

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Mastering あげる, くれる, and もらう will greatly improve your Japanese communication skills. These verbs reflect perspective and relationships, so practicing them in real-life situations will help you sound more natural.